When people have been married or have been with a partner for a long time and then go through the trauma of divorce or death of a loved one the stages of grief they go through are the same.
The first stage is shock, felling numb, denial and maybe anger. At this stage the loneliness, sadness is acute and their concentration is poor. My clients have often said they feel as if they are going mad which makes them anxious and frightened. Sometimes the person may feel angry that they have been left behind or relieved that the suffering of the person they have lost is over. With both these feelings comes guilt that they should not feel like this after someone has left or died.
During this time family members can help but may also be grieving, may also be emotionally involved and do not want to upset each other more. After this stage older people can become depressed if they have no support or help and cannot be bothered to look after themselves.
These people need help with their grief from someone who is not emotionally involved. Family and friends tend to think that the person who has suffered a loss, death are coping after a few months and do not realise how long the grieving process can take and that there is nothing any one can do to speed up the process.
People can be helped by a professional who has the experience knowledge about loss and bereavement in a safe environment where they will not be judged and everything they say is confidential. A bereavement counsellor would help in this situation.
Please call 0843 2895160 to find out more.
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